


Gravity of Goodbye

by hops



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, end of life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 22:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12850536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hops/pseuds/hops
Summary: Taako spends the evening before Magnus's death at his bedside.





	Gravity of Goodbye

He knows Magnus is fading.

Taako spends most of the afternoon curled in the chair by his bedside, watching over him as he sleeps. Sometimes Taako hovers a little closer, turns his ear to Magnus’s nose and mouth, just to make sure he’s still breathing. He doesn’t cry, mostly for fear of waking him. He doesn’t want Magnus to see. He knows he wouldn’t tolerate tears. 

Lup checks on him, but she doesn’t say much. Taako knows Barry is around, too. Carey is sleeping in the guest room. Or, she’s trying to.

A little after dinner time, Magnus stirs with what little life is left in his bones. Taako’s plate is left untouched on the bedside table.

“Hey, bud,” he says faintly. Taako scrambles forward and reaches for his hand. “You’re still here?” 

“My prior engagements for the evening got cancelled,” Taako jokes weakly. His smile is halfhearted at best. “So I guess you’re stuck with me.” 

Magnus tries to laugh, but it’s just a crackle in his throat. The knife twisting in his gut tells Taako that he probably doesn’t have much time left. His fingers wrap tightly around Magnus’s hand. Despite its size, it feels bony beneath his grip. Frail, almost. 

He wants to laugh. Magnus “The Hammer” Burnsides, frail. It seems ludicrous to put the words in the same sentence. 

Magnus “The Hammer” Burnsides, dead. 

It seems  _ impossible  _ to put the words in the same sentence. 

The breath Taako draws shakes violently in his throat. He prays Magnus doesn’t hear. 

“Do you want me to get the others?” 

Magnus shakes his head with a tired sigh. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

He knows it’s not true. He just doesn’t want them worried. All at once, tears flood Taako’s eyes. Any hope of a poker face washes away with the rest of him. 

“Oh, Taak,” breathes Magnus. He tries to squeeze the elf’s hand, but the motion is barely noticeable to Taako. “Don’t.” 

“I’m cool!” Taako’s watery, too-loud laugh cuts harsh through the thick air of the bedroom. “I’m cool. It’s cool. Taako is way cool, bubbeleh. Promise.” 

Magnus’s little smile is sad. He knows he can’t stop Taako from crying. He knows that it takes so much for Taako to cry in the first place. He strokes a weak thumb over the back of Taako’s hand. 

They’re silent for a long time, save for the sound of Taako’s sniffling. 

“Taako?” 

Taako looks up and blinks fat tears from his eyes. “Yeah, Mags,” he answers faintly. Flatly. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” 

Taako just starts crying again, just as hard as before. Magnus tries his best to hold on tighter, but Taako curls closer into himself.

“There’s-- there’s nowhere you’re gonna go that I won’t be with you. Promise.” Magnus says, struggling though each word. “I-- I’ll be there, whenever you look around.” 

Taako looks up at the ceiling and shakes his head, smiling in pure disbelief. “I’ll be sure to ask the  _ thousand winds that blow  _ if they want to come over for drinks next weekend.” 

Magnus doesn’t seem to enjoy his heavy joke. Some things never change.

“Julia,” Magnus starts, but doesn’t finish. Taako can guess what he means.

“I know. It’s just--” Taako forces himself to look at his old friend. His oldest friend. He doesn’t know how many more times he’ll get to do so. “You know ol’ Taako. I’m selfish. I don’t want you to leave me here with these fuckin’ idiots.” 

Magnus doesn’t say anything. He looks like he’s nodding off a little bit, in and out of consciousness. Taako starts to cry again. 

After a little while, Magnus speaks, barely audible. His eyes are still closed peacefully. “Carey…?” 

“On it.” 

Taako stands quickly and moves to the next room with purpose. He knocks on the guest room door and doesn’t wait for an answer. He finds the dragonborn laying motionless on her side, paralyzed with grief. 

“He’s asking for you.” 

The words seem to jolt her from her trance. She pulls herself from the bed quickly and walks to the door to meet Taako. She looks like shit, absolutely exhausted, eyes pinkish-orange instead of their usual gold. They’ve never been particularly close, but it happens before he can think about it; he reaches out and takes her into a hug, just so she has somewhere to put her head down for a moment. They don’t say anything. There’s nothing to say. 

She pulls away and takes a long breath in. 

“Hero time,” she whispers to herself. Taako watches her steel herself and face the doorway. She puts her scaly hand on his arm in a silent gesture of support and gratitude. 

She enters Magnus’s bedroom and shuts the door quietly behind her. As Taako turns to figure out where to go, what to do with himself next, he finds Kravitz coming up the stairs. He hasn’t been around very much. He’d told Taako there were preparations to be made. Taako had tried his hardest to believe him. 

Kravitz says nothing. He takes his husband into his arms and holds him tight. Taako unravels immediately. 

“Oh, dove,” Kravitz says softly, smoothing over Taako’s long hair. He doesn’t tell him it’s going to be okay. It’s the truth, but it’s not one Taako will accept. Not now. So he says nothing else. 

Taako cries, and cries, and cries. 

Kravitz hums. Taako knows he’s thinking. “I hope you take solace in the fact that she’s waiting for him on the other side. She has been for some time. He will be well taken care of.” 

He wants to take solace in it. But he’s hurting. 

“I wish I could ease your pain.” 

“It’s not  _ fucking fair.”  _ Taako says sharply. Kravitz holds tighter as Taako tries to push away. “It’s not! He’s not-- we never had to--” 

“The idea of it being permanent is new.” 

Taako manages to untangle himself from Kravitz to put space between them. “Don’t.” 

“Taako?” 

“Don’t. Just --  _ don’t _ ! You, Barry, Lup, you get to  _ see him  _ again! You don’t -- this isn’t  _ permanent  _ to you, so don’t--” 

Kravitz inhales and exhales deeply. He knows this is how Taako gets when he’s lost in his grief. He turns to anger. He blames the blameless. He curls his fists into the tapestry of fate and wishes beyond wishing that he could tear all of the threads out himself. 

“I’m so sorry, my love.” 

Taako turns back to Kravitz and accepts his embrace once more, sobbing. “I can’t do this. I can’t watch him die.” He barks out a broken laugh. “How stupid am I, right? I watched him die a million times as a  _ kid,  _ but I can’t watch him die the fuckin’ right way as an old bag of bones? Fuck me, I guess.” 

Kravitz rubs his back. 

“It’s not gonna be long, I don’t think. He says he’s not but… he’s a bad liar.” 

Kravitz nods. “I’ll get them.” 

The reaper disappears and he hears movement downstairs, a family stirring from their motionless sorrow, pulled forward by the gravity of goodbye.

Murmurs carry up the hallway as two sets of slow, slow footsteps ascend the stairs. Killian appears first, with her arm around someone slim and frail. Lucretia. 

Taako steadies himself and meets her eyes. They watch each other for a long moment. They’ve both been crying. The weight of a century and a half hangs between them in the hall. They say nothing. As she passes, she reaches for his arm, and he accepts her touch. 

She disappears into the bedroom with Killian. 

Davenport nods to him. Merle pats his hip. There will be time for talking later. For the empty seat at their table at Chesney’s. For the memories and memories and memories made in the months where they’d had none. 

Lup and Barry are quiet upon arrival, but not as tearful as the rest. They know something the rest don’t. Taako envies their happiness. He wishes he could understand that this is not his own life’s ending, too. 

Angus arrives last. He is inconsolable. Taako silently pulls him close and feels the leadened weight of Angus’s grief as he embraces him. The child they’d all raised together. The heart of their misfit family. He’s grown now. He’s so tall. He’s so much like Magnus.

“Come on, kid,” Taako says. Kravitz returns to the hallway and walks them to the bedroom. 

They leave the door open, for family, for Julia, for memories, for love. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to elaine, emi, and cat for the editing help 
> 
> comments are always appreciated bc i am a slut for validation. 
> 
> i'm @magcretia on tumblr, come say hi!


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